We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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