we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
