its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
People with herpes should wear stickers.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize