I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
