Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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