There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
