I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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