Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
