I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
