i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
