I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
