She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
