Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
