So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
