yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
