i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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