I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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