proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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