Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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