Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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