Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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