Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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