would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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