i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize