Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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