i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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