remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
