And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
