He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
