I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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