oh god the rape fog is back!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
