I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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