so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
