I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
