i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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