is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
