walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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