i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
