Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will pee on everything he values.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
