Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I understand Curling. That high.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
