Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
