She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
