dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
