Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
