Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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