i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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