I feel like I'm in dance class right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
