Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
