don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
