Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We left the knife in your bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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