I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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