Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize