Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My dick has a subreddit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
