You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
