did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
