as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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