before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
