erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
