Having a random hookup so left but love u
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
